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Black eyes, busted lips, broken bones, death….are some of the results of abuse. What is abuse? Abuse can be verbal, psychological, emotional, or physical. Abuse goes way back to 1768, where a British common law stated that you could hit your wife with a stick as long as the stick was no thicker than your thumb. I really can’t believe there was a law that permits this. I am against men hitting women for any cause.
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Black eyes, busted lips, broken bones, death….are some of the results of abuse. What is abuse? Abuse can be verbal, psychological, emotional, or physical. Abuse goes way back to 1768, where a British common law stated that you could hit your wife with a stick as long as the stick was no thicker than your thumb. I really can’t believe there was a law that permits this. I am against men hitting women for any cause.3
Have you ever heard the saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me”? Well, that statement is not true. I was personally involved in a relationship with a guy that abused me physically and emotionally. At first, it started with just a push or grab, but grew to choking and beating. The smallest things would set him off. I later got pregnant by him. It was then I realized that it was time for me to get out of that relationship. I couldn’t bring a baby in this world and let him beat him/her too. Yes, it was hard to leave, but I think it worked out for both of us. I took it day by day. I would say the emotional abuse caused more damage than the physical abuse. He got help to deal with the problem he had and I moved on. You may say, “well, it doesn’t happen overnight,” which is true, but any small step to making things right is better than nothing at all.
Have you ever heard the saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me”? Well, that statement is not true. I was personally involved in a relationship with a guy that abused me physically and emotionally. At first, it started with just a push or grab, but grew to choking and beating. The smallest things would set him off. I later got pregnant by him. It was then I realized that it was time for me to get out of that relationship. I couldn’t bring a baby in this world and let him beat him/her too. Yes, it was hard to leave, but I think it worked out for both of us. I took it day by day. I would say the emotional abuse caused more damage than the physical abuse. He got help to deal with the problem he had and I moved on. You may say, “well, it doesn’t happen overnight,” which is true, but any small step to making things right is better than nothing at all.4
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As stated in CQ Researcher, “for the woman in living in the United States today, the chances are greater that she will be assaulted or even raped in her own home by someone she knows than by a stranger on the street”. Most women rarely report their abuse; therefore, they can’t be helped. In some incidents, the abuse isn’t reported because of the fear the women have that the one abusing them will come back and abuse them for reporting them. Some women don’t have the support system to help them leave the abusive relationship. Some women are ashamed to tell someone that they have been abused. If it isn’t reported, then how can either of them receive help?
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As stated in CQ Researcher, “for the woman in living in the United States today, the chances are greater that she will be assaulted or even raped in her own home by someone she knows than by a stranger on the street”. Most women rarely report their abuse; therefore, they can’t be helped. In some incidents, the abuse isn’t reported because of the fear the women have that the one abusing them will come back and abuse them for reporting them. Some women don’t have the support system to help them leave the abusive relationship. Some women are ashamed to tell someone that they have been abused. If it isn’t reported, then how can either of them receive help?5
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I am addressing this issue not only because it has happen to me, but to maybe help prevent it from happening to someone else. I know you may be saying “well, this can’t happen to me”, but I said the same thing. I have heard some men say, “Well, I hit her because she didn’t do this or do that “, but I feel that when a man hits a female, it makes him less of a man. I feel that when a man beats his partner, it’s only when he feels as if he is losing power over her. Some men are predisposed to abuse; therefore, he grows up to abuse others. That is a great reason not to let children see abuse going on because they can grow up to be abusers or accept the abuse themselves. Do you ever think about the affect this may have on the children, if children are involved. Their childhood is damaged, even with counseling. The damage is done and the children has forever to live with those images.
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I am addressing this issue not only because it has happen to me, but to maybe help prevent it from happening to someone else. I know you may be saying “well, this can’t happen to me”, but I said the same thing. I have heard some men say, “Well, I hit her because she didn’t do this or do that “, but I feel that when a man hits a female, it makes him less of a man. I feel that when a man beats his partner, it’s only when he feels as if he is losing power over her. Some men are predisposed to abuse; therefore, he grows up to abuse others. That is a great reason not to let children see abuse going on because they can grow up to be abusers or accept the abuse themselves. Do you ever think about the affect this may have on the children, if children are involved. Their childhood is damaged, even with counseling. The damage is done and the children has forever to live with those images.6
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In conclusion, there are different ways for a man to vent his anger. He can exercise, run, or walk away. If the relationship isn’t working out, then there are other options than abuse. Compromise, counseling, and or terminate the relationship are some options. The awareness for abuse against women needs to be increased and brought to more people’s attention. Some people don’t care whether or not abuse is going on until the crime is actually happening to them or to one of their loved ones. As I stated earlier, abuse can happen to anyone whether you know it or not. I do believe every situation involving abuse can be solved with some form of an answer. My argument is not only to the abusers, but to the victims too. So before you abuse your partner or think it’s okay to be abused, think about the consequences and the damage that is being made on everyone involved.
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In conclusion, there are different ways for a man to vent his anger. He can exercise, run, or walk away. If the relationship isn’t working out, then there are other options than abuse. Compromise, counseling, and or terminate the relationship are some options. The awareness for abuse against women needs to be increased and brought to more people’s attention. Some people don’t care whether or not abuse is going on until the crime is actually happening to them or to one of their loved ones. As I stated earlier, abuse can happen to anyone whether you know it or not. I do believe every situation involving abuse can be solved with some form of an answer. My argument is not only to the abusers, but to the victims too. So before you abuse your partner or think it’s okay to be abused, think about the consequences and the damage that is being made on everyone involved.
I like this paragraph because I can relate to it with someone I know that went through it. I know what abuse is not me being the victim but witnessing it from a family memeber who was in a marriage. My family felt like she couldn’t leave him because she was afraid for her children and her life. She thought that if she left him he would come loioking for her and kill her and the kids. He finally stop beating her n she is still with him.
i’m against abuse point blank. a lot of people say a man shouldn hit a woman. but you rarely hear that a woman shouldn hit a man. now if he just hit her for no reason then thats a problem. but if she’s hittin on him, provoking him, den thats another story. i say if you going to speak about abuse, think about that also. there’s always 2 sides to the story. there are signs u can notice in a man to see whether or not he’s abuse. u just have to pay close attention and never blow off what he says.
Wow. I like how you put your own personal story in there, also I like how you mentioned what if it was your daughter? You’re right no one really cares about any issues unless it hits home, which isn’t very fair. We should always be aware that things like this is happening in the world and try to find a way to stop it. Good topic!
I like your intro. i strongly agree when you say that people don’t really care until it happens to them.
Wow, I can’t believe back in the day they actually allowed men to hit their wife with a stick that’s ridiculous. Women are not animals and are not to be treated like dogs. I personally do not like people to tell me what to do so for a man to even think about hurting me is just not ok. That’s horrible that you’ve experinced this but its good that your sharing this information with everyone to help people see why its wrong.
i love this essay. it has alot of meaning into it. i use to believe that words wouldnt hurt me but they really do. i know that because my own boy friend says alot of mean things to me and it really hurts. but i cant believe that back in the day men could beat there wives and especially with sticks that is ridiculous!! there has to be something to help all these women
I was really touched by your story. It takes alot for someone to share their own stories. I couldn’t imagine if a guy would ever lay his hands on me. My stepsister was kind of in a abusive relationship. She wasn’t hurt that bad, but she got out of the relationship too.
Wow…. Yes, it does have to stop. I am sorry to hear you had to go through all that! You should of not taken that! My sister went through some types of abuse. As well as men need help I think women need help too.. They need to be well aware that they do not deserve that type pf treatment!!
Any man that would hit a woman doesn’t deserve to be called a man!This paragraph reminds me of someone I knew who dealt with physical and emotional abuse for many years.It took all she had to finally speak out about it and ask for help.
Great way to approach such a subject, I love it
Your hook is powerful! I think a reader will have a problem with the statement that abuse goes back to 1768. It suggests that people didn’t start abusing each other until that date. I know that’s not what you meant. You may want to clarify that laws concerning abuse have been around since that time. Also, cite this information. The last sentence is not a good stance. Everyone is against men hitting women. Make your stance something that reasonable people would disagree with.
Can you elaborate more on the statement about some men being “predisposed” to abuse? This is an interesting point. Maybe you can give some tips to help identify these characteristics.
One of your solutions is to terminate the relationship. Does this solve the problem, or does it just pass it on to someone else. I’m not suggesting that anyone should stay in an abusive relationship, but if we’re looking for ways to solve the problem, this doesn’t really seem to accomplish anything. I guess it is good advice to give someone in that situation though.